.:logical irrationality:.

I remember strong hands and soft touch
Fingertips grazing across my skin leaving footprints of electricity where our skin meet
I remember your smell
I breathed you in and trapped you within me
You became me
I lived through you
I remember laughter
Familiar vibrations erupting from your chest
Your laughter became my own as your joy entered me
Coursed through my body and became my elixir
I remember brown eyes and wide smiles
Innocence tinged with lustful curiosity
Take me now and fill me with you
Filling my mind with the pleasure of understand the ways you can only love me
Filling my body with your love
Physical manifestation of emotions turned into unabashed desire, uninhibited need
I remember the bass tinged melody of your voice
The change in pitch that rumbles when you first wake up
I remember the express of love
Awestruck love that this man could love so deep
Love me completely, Love me pass rationality, with welcomed insanity.

In the 5 years I've had my licence not have I got a ticket, parking violoation, citation, etc. But after tonight that just might not be the case!

So I go to picked my cousin from basketball practice tonight and I stop in front of the school for no more than 5 minutes MAX! while I wait for him to come out the gym. A car pulls up behind me and I assume they're waiting for someone. Said car proceeds to pull up beside me, driver side and honk her damn horn repeatedly until I roll down my window. Then, the driver, the do-gooder b!tch in question, proceeds to wave her lil handicap pass at me "YOU CANT PARK HERE!" I'm a little thrown off as I've been here for 5 minutes, cars still running and I'm a good 4 feet from the curb, clearly not parked. I calmly say (and I actually was calm because I felt bad that she might need the spot I'm in) "Oh I'm sorry, do you need me to move. I'll move out the spot for you."

A small situation right? I move, bitch gets her spot. All is well in handicapped parking land. NOPE! She proceeds to scream at you "NO YOU CANNOT PARK HERE, YOU ARE ILLEGALLY PARKED!" Now I'm mad because I'm trying to move for her but her car passenger door is parallel to my driver door so I can't move as they're now a car parking in front me, so I'm stuck and this annoying woman refuses to move. What does she do? She pulls out her cell phone, calls the police "Hi, there's a woman parked in a handicapped spot who refuses to move. Yes I have a picture of her plates" I AM LIVID and yell into her car that I am actually trying to move, but she's blocking me and traffic. I want the police to hear me. She asks the police "Do you hear her?" I yell "I hope they hear me, I want them to! If you moved and stopped blocking me, I'd give you the spot."

So I move, grabbed my cousin who has called me 5 times now, and was on the wrong street, and drive back to the spot I was at. Now, I should NOT have left. But I drive back around the the spot, TWICE, and the bitch aint even in the parking space!

The parking space is empty. Do-Gooder Sue is nooooooooo where to be seen!I'm sooooooooo mad. Let me get a ticket in the mail, I'm having my day in traffic court! We'll see Sue, we'll see!




.........bitch........

Once, my thoughts had meaning, they had color, they had a life of their own...

High up in the trees rest my thoughts. Lofted above the reach of the worlds pessimism, away from judging eyes. Nestled between branches are the little tangents my thoughts run off to during the stillness of the day. They are untouchable to you, hidden away from your grasp. They are red, blending into the hues of orange, yellow, burgundy, auburn, and scarlet trapped within tattered leaves.

Deep beneath my feet my thoughts bury themselves beneath the earth. Hidden from all eyes they grow, nurtured by my inner self that no one sees - deep, forgiving. They are watered by the tears that only escape in the comfort of night; fleeting tears that quickly disappear into the softness of my pillow. They are fed by my inner light. A timid piece of my puzzle, coaxed out of hiding by perceptually meaningless accomplishments and insignificant moments.

High above, to heavenly billows of freedom, my thoughts do not reach. They no longer glide through clouds, darting between the gaps parted by playful gusts of wind. They no longer hide within the giants of an untouched sky. My thoughts are wingless and can no longer take flight to scatter amongst the untamed waves of an aerial sea. -- "Thoughts" May 8, 2008

But now, they are silent, fading, and dull. They are burdened and tired. They are doubting and fearful; hopeful and eager. At times they are optimistic, but the reality of life grounds them into an infertile earth. My thoughts are elusive, sly, and cryptic. They are shrouded in insecurity and worry. They are bold, marching across a seemingly endless plateau my emotion; they're the reign. There the sore their seeds. Red flowers bloom - thoughts of passion and conviction, but they are stifled by the sprouting seeds sown by indecision.

My thoughts are the color of water, transparent yet reflective. They movements are like that of ripples as they move uninhibited across the fluid surface of my heart. Independent waves flowing outwards until they collide and counteract against the other. Each ripple fades back into the calm mind it bubbled out from.

My thoughts are... exhausting.